The only person standing in the way of my dreams is myself and that really fucking pisses me off and frustrates me knowing it’s my mind that is holding me back.
Edward Hallowell, M.D. Delivered from Distraction.
I quit working like 2 hours ago. So I decided to just go to bed. But I am terrible at going to bed. So I picked up the book the lady at UHS gave me. And then I started sobbing, because of it. This part prompted quite a few tears.UGH.
Not only does shame hurt, it also is the chief cause of a huge problem in adults who have ADD, namely the inability to feel good about their achievements. It is common for ADD adults to be all but impervious to positive remarks. Whatever they have legitimately achieved they feel must have been done by someone else, or by accident.
One of the main reasons adults with ADD can’t take pleasure in their own successes and creations is, simply, shame. They feel too ashamed to feel good. They feel too defective to feel nourished. They feel it is practically immoral to feel proud of themselves. Healthy pride is such an alien emotion that they have to look back into the dim recesses of their childhoods to find the last time they felt proud of themselves, if they can find an instance even then.
I don’t know if people without adhd know how frustrating it is. There is a sort of self-loathing that comes with this disorder. You could be absolutely in love with project you’re doing, a piece of art you’re creating, or a book you’re reading and nearly complete it to just all of the sudden need…
(from many sources)
* Your filter is all screwed up. Sometimes you can’t filter anything and it all comes in. Sometimes you just loose the ability to focus on anything, the brain fog. Sometimes something will happen or someone will say something to you and your brain doesn’t even register it.
This is everything I could not put into words.